I met someone. He is extremely caring and has this optimistic view of the world. He makes my day brighter. He makes everything less complicated. He makes me happy. He listens to me, he waits for me, he appreciates me. He is exactly what I needed. What I need. I felt like I was drowning, I still do, and he is my life saver. He came just in time too. On September 7, 2015 at 2 am in the morning after copious amounts of drinks, I met him. He made me laugh and that’s all it really took. I liked him. He was fascinating and interesting and new and had the biggest smile on his face. He asked me for my number and I said no. He asked me out on a date and I said no. His dream is to be president so I agreed to go on a date with him when he was president. The next day he leaves. I feel extremely sad and hurt he didn’t so much as look for me. He didn’t want to see me again. I texted my friend around noon and asked if they had left. She responded with yes. That was my answer. I was again unwanted. No sooner did I realize this then did I immediately wanted to let him go. I wanted to move on and be happy again. I met him for an instant but he changed everything about how I viewed the world, people, everything.
An hour or so later I receive a message asking me if it’s alright if my friend gives my phone number to the guy I just met. I responded cooly, “Only if he’s asking for it you know?” So she gave him my number. We have been talking since. Things are kind of hard because he lives so far away. I called him one night, while intoxicated, and asked him to be my barney. At that time I thought Barney and Robin stayed together and were the ones that were happy. He tried to tell me that they got divorced but I refused to believe it. So I made him promise to be my Barney. Which he did after he heard he could not sway me. A couple of days afterwards we talked about it and I finally realized Barney and Robin do not stay together so I became his Robin and he became my Ted. Two very unlikely people to like each other, yet they did and somehow through all of the hardships and obstacles they faced they stayed friends as well as ended up together in the end.
I tried pushing him away. I tried the “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” method. Didn’t work. Albeit it probably didn’t work because he knew I was trying to get rid of him, but he still stayed. I gave up because it’s too difficult to try and hold myself back from feeling what I feel.
We both know we met at the wrong time so we decided we were like Ted and Robin. That maybe someday we will end up together but not today. I don’t like this, but it’s not fair for me to tell him to keep fighting when I’m the one pushing him away, so I let him go. I’m letting him move on and I’m going to move on as well. I’ll go on dates and try to forget him. Maybe hopefully some future day we’ll end up together but for now we can’t hold each other back and it breaks my heart. I’ve honestly only felt like this once before and it broke me but at least this time there’s hope and me being the stupid person that I am will keep that hope alive.