In a world where everything is adjustable, where you can tailor just about anything to your needs, have we lost the method of compromising? Is compromising a forgotten skill of the past? Where everyone is looking for a love that stays as fiery as it once was and will not settle for less. Maybe this is the reason less people are getting married. Once upon a time marriage and relationships were about compromise but maybe now people aren’t as well to compromise for just any person and maybe that is a good thing.
When I first started dating my now boyfriend, my ex contacted me. He said he had been thinking and dreaming of me. At that point I realized I had two choices, one was to continue to explore my new-to-be relationship and the other to go back to the guy who made me wonder where he was at night, what his feelings were, the exciting guy. To me the choice was simple and logical. I would explore the new guy I was dating because he was funny and cute and made my heart flutter with how much we had in common. I have come to realize that this is not as easy for everyone as it was for me.
In Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw was dating a great man who’s name was Aiden, who wanted to introduce her to his parents, who forgave her after she cheated, who helped her friends when she couldn’t, yet when the mysterious Big, calls her each time she runs back to him. Does this explain why there was an increase in divorce rights? Although among millennials the rate has decreased?
I’m glad I made the right choice for me. He is sensible, sometimes arrogant, pushes me out of my boundaries, silly, goofy, sweet, a much more complex person than Big was. This was also when I realized I was not Carrie, I am Miranda. Which ironically, when I kept getting that result in the which Sex and the City Character are you I kept denying but now I’m actually quite happy. Miranda is a dynamic character, who is logical and responsible and you know what? That suites me just fine.
I’m the type of person that you won’t hear from for months, maybe even years. Then one day you crawl into my mind and I send a text or a picture or even just spend a while reminiscing and I wish I could turn back to those days. The days where everything was simpler when being busy meant being busy with everything I loved. Now the days are busy with ordinary, monotonous tasks. Frivolous spending to fill a void, to something distract myself from how ordinary my life has become. Every ttime I think of you old friend, I wish nothing but the best for you and that your life is filled with what you love everyday.
Sometimes it’s easier to walk away. Sometimes it’s easier to forget and let go. Sometimes it’s easier to move than to try. Sometimes I want to try though. Sometimes it can be worth the fight. Sometimes I want to stay even though I always leave.
Love is choosing the same person every day no matter how hard it is. Love is not all just passion. Love is loving just having their presence even when no one is talking. Love is accepting that we are all humans and make mistakes even if we don’t mean to. Love is learning to forgive even though it’s so fucking hard. Love is looking for compromises or creating one if it doesn’t exist. Most of all love is letting another person into your own world.
I have only had 3 intimate relationships. The first one made me realized I deserved much more, the second that I don’t deal with immaturity and the third that you must really want something to make it happen. And now I’m doing so much that I’ve always wanted to. The people who surround you, who you surround yourself with, really do make up qualities of yourself. Think about it. Don’t like it? Change it.
If you don’t fit in, make your own place in this world. Trust me just like in class when you ask a question and you hear someone in the background say Oh thank God, they asked that I had no idea. Rest assured the same holds true for this. Some people might not even know they were like you, or want to do similar things, or others will have wanted to for tthe longest time but never sought out the opportunity. So if you are able and willing, I encourage you to create your own place in this world, others may or may not want to join but trust me when I say at least one other person will thank you for doing what they never had the courage to do.