Lately I've been thinking that I want to build an empire. I want to not just work but build something great, but what? In this modern world with so many people it's a question of beating people to the punch not just coming up with the idea. I am good at bargain shopping. I am good at waiting for a sale and keeping watch on items that I want but what about that? What can I do with that? I'm good at being resourceful when times call for temporary fixes but what then? What can I do? I just need to keep thinking this over. One of the hardest parts is coming up with what you want to do and then doing it. Let's see what happens. Sorry for the ramble just had to put it down on paper.
In case y’all wanted to know about my actual life and not just my thoughts, last Friday I forgot that I was in my archeology class so on the pop quiz I wrote the 4 other subfields of anthropology (cultural, biological, and linguistic for those of you needing to know) but not archeology…I also steamed the autoclave room to where many officials had to come by, I hit my head in the shower and I locked myself out of my apartment. That is all.
In a world where everything is adjustable, where you can tailor just about anything to your needs, have we lost the method of compromising? Is compromising a forgotten skill of the past? Where everyone is looking for a love that stays as fiery as it once was and will not settle for less. Maybe this is the reason less people are getting married. Once upon a time marriage and relationships were about compromise but maybe now people aren’t as well to compromise for just any person and maybe that is a good thing.
The most liberating moment comes when you realize you don’t have to fit into some small boxes that society has created. Whether you create a new job profession, your identity, relationship, etc. It’s truly liberating to not have those expectations and I hope that everyone can have this moment of realization. If you wanna talk about your experiences let me know. I may not have gone through what you did but I do listen and sometimes give good advice or even you can rant to me and I’ll listen.
I’m the type of person that you won’t hear from for months, maybe even years. Then one day you crawl into my mind and I send a text or a picture or even just spend a while reminiscing and I wish I could turn back to those days. The days where everything was simpler when being busy meant being busy with everything I loved. Now the days are busy with ordinary, monotonous tasks. Frivolous spending to fill a void, to something distract myself from how ordinary my life has become. Every ttime I think of you old friend, I wish nothing but the best for you and that your life is filled with what you love everyday.
I don’t know if men are better at hiding their insecurities than women or maybe it is just me, but I have a feeling that it has to do with how careful most women are with their wording and words as opposed to men. People who are not insecure do not realize that one simple comment made in passing could be replying in the person with insecurities mind on replay. Not letting them sleep. Not letting them work but just wondering on what they meant or if it was meant to be as hurtful as how they said it. Maybe I am paranoid. Maybe I am insecure and I most likely should stop comparing myself to other women but can you blame me? In a society where everything is a competition. Even in families there is competition. Instead of helping each other with our troubles we just pile them on. Thanking God we don’t have that issue. Until we do and then everything becomes more complicated and difficult.
Sometimes it’s easier to walk away. Sometimes it’s easier to forget and let go. Sometimes it’s easier to move than to try. Sometimes I want to try though. Sometimes it can be worth the fight. Sometimes I want to stay even though I always leave.