The most liberating moment comes when you realize you don’t have to fit into some small boxes that society has created. Whether you create a new job profession, your identity, relationship, etc. It’s truly liberating to not have those expectations and I hope that everyone can have this moment of realization. If you wanna talk about your experiences let me know. I may not have gone through what you did but I do listen and sometimes give good advice or even you can rant to me and I’ll listen.
I’m the type of person that you won’t hear from for months, maybe even years. Then one day you crawl into my mind and I send a text or a picture or even just spend a while reminiscing and I wish I could turn back to those days. The days where everything was simpler when being busy meant being busy with everything I loved. Now the days are busy with ordinary, monotonous tasks. Frivolous spending to fill a void, to something distract myself from how ordinary my life has become. Every ttime I think of you old friend, I wish nothing but the best for you and that your life is filled with what you love everyday.
Some days you are on top of the world and other days you are at the very bottom. Maybe it is just my emotions that take a hold of me. Maybe I should try to be more stable, but the when you get when you are on top of the world? It is like an addiction.
I don’t know if men are better at hiding their insecurities than women or maybe it is just me, but I have a feeling that it has to do with how careful most women are with their wording and words as opposed to men. People who are not insecure do not realize that one simple comment made in passing could be replying in the person with insecurities mind on replay. Not letting them sleep. Not letting them work but just wondering on what they meant or if it was meant to be as hurtful as how they said it. Maybe I am paranoid. Maybe I am insecure and I most likely should stop comparing myself to other women but can you blame me? In a society where everything is a competition. Even in families there is competition. Instead of helping each other with our troubles we just pile them on. Thanking God we don’t have that issue. Until we do and then everything becomes more complicated and difficult.
Sometimes it’s easier to walk away. Sometimes it’s easier to forget and let go. Sometimes it’s easier to move than to try. Sometimes I want to try though. Sometimes it can be worth the fight. Sometimes I want to stay even though I always leave.
Love is choosing the same person every day no matter how hard it is. Love is not all just passion. Love is loving just having their presence even when no one is talking. Love is accepting that we are all humans and make mistakes even if we don’t mean to. Love is learning to forgive even though it’s so fucking hard. Love is looking for compromises or creating one if it doesn’t exist. Most of all love is letting another person into your own world.
I have only had 3 intimate relationships. The first one made me realized I deserved much more, the second that I don’t deal with immaturity and the third that you must really want something to make it happen. And now I’m doing so much that I’ve always wanted to. The people who surround you, who you surround yourself with, really do make up qualities of yourself. Think about it. Don’t like it? Change it.