Decisions

When I first started dating my now boyfriend, my ex contacted me. He said he had been thinking and dreaming of me. At that point I realized I had two choices, one was to continue to explore my new-to-be relationship and the other to go back to the guy who made me wonder where he was at night, what his feelings were, the exciting guy. To me the choice was simple and logical. I would explore the new guy I was dating because he was funny and cute and made my heart flutter with how much we had in common. I have come to realize that this is not as easy for everyone as it was for me.

In Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw was dating a great man who’s name was Aiden, who wanted to introduce her to his parents, who forgave her after she cheated, who helped her friends when she couldn’t, yet when the mysterious Big, calls her each time she runs back to him. Does this explain why there was an increase in divorce rights? Although among millennials the rate has decreased?

I’m glad I made the right choice for me.  He is sensible, sometimes arrogant, pushes me out of my boundaries, silly, goofy, sweet, a much more complex person than Big was. This was also when I realized I was not Carrie, I am Miranda. Which ironically, when I kept getting that result in the which Sex and the City Character are you I kept denying but now I’m actually quite happy. Miranda is a dynamic character, who is logical and responsible and you know what? That suites me just fine.

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Liberating 

The most liberating moment comes when you realize you don’t have to fit into some small boxes that society has created. Whether you create a new job profession, your identity, relationship, etc. It’s truly liberating to not have those expectations and I hope that everyone can have this moment of realization. If you wanna talk about your experiences let me know. I may not have gone through what you did but I do listen and sometimes give good advice or even you can rant to me and I’ll listen. 

Old friend 

I’m the type of person that you won’t hear from for months, maybe even years. Then one day you crawl into my mind and I send a text or a picture or even just spend a while reminiscing and I wish I could turn back to those days. The days where everything was simpler when being busy meant being busy with everything I loved. Now the days are busy with ordinary, monotonous tasks. Frivolous spending to fill a void, to something  distract myself from how ordinary my life has become. Every ttime I think of you old friend, I wish nothing but the best for you and that your life is filled with what you love everyday. 

Insecurities

I don’t know if men are better at hiding their insecurities than women or maybe it is just me, but I have a feeling that it has to do with how careful most women are with their wording and words as opposed to men. People who are not insecure do not realize that one simple comment made in passing could be replying in the person with insecurities mind on replay. Not letting them sleep. Not letting them work but just wondering on what they meant or if it was meant to be as hurtful as how they said it. Maybe I am paranoid. Maybe I am insecure and I most likely should stop comparing myself to other women but can you blame me? In a society where everything is a competition. Even in families there is competition. Instead of helping each other with our troubles we just pile them on. Thanking God we don’t have that issue. Until we do and then everything becomes more complicated and difficult.

Love

Love is choosing the same person every day no matter how hard it is. Love is not all just passion. Love is loving just having their presence even when no one is talking. Love is accepting that we are all humans and make mistakes even if we don’t mean to. Love is learning to forgive even though it’s so fucking hard. Love is looking for compromises or creating one if it doesn’t exist. Most of all love is letting another person into your own world.