In a world where everything is adjustable, where you can tailor just about anything to your needs, have we lost the method of compromising? Is compromising a forgotten skill of the past? Where everyone is looking for a love that stays as fiery as it once was and will not settle for less. Maybe this is the reason less people are getting married. Once upon a time marriage and relationships were about compromise but maybe now people aren’t as well to compromise for just any person and maybe that is a good thing.
(skip to 4th paragraph if you just want a brief overview) Why do I buy things I find at a ridiculously good price? Because it makes me feel smart about my money and getting what I want at the same price. It is almost like I am hunting and my prey is the bargain as cheesy as that sounds there is a high that goes with getting the best deal possible. This can be problematic when you become a hoarder or you overspend. I have a problem. I have had to unfollow certain pages where I know I am more tempted to buy cheap used but relatively good quality items. But man is it hard.
I find that when I buy an item it gives me a rush, a sense of belonging. Shopping relieves my loneliness if only for a bit. Whether it be furniture, clothes or my lastest obsession, thrifting designer goods, I easily become obsessed and it is actually difficult for me to stop if I do not realize that it is an obsession and wrong for me (not saying there is wrong with how other people want to spend their money, they earn it and therefore they get to choose how to spend it) to spend all of my money on shoes, or clothes or handbags.
I am actually trying to distance myself from temptations and concentrate on work, on research, on writing, other outlets for my loneliness instead of spending what could be my savings.
Shopaholics shop in most case because they feel better when shopping. I, for example, get a high from going out and getting anything at all. Maybe you shop to fit in, or shop to be different, get compliments, be ahead of the curve, but next time you go out ask yourself these three questions:
- Does this make me feel like I could take on the world?
- Does this fit in my budget?
- Would I “die” without it?
If you answered yes to all three then go for it! Just remember that you should never spend more than you can and that a nice, clean closet usually leads to a feeling of being put together and if you have a closet or home full of things you adore. Maybe this experience for me will lead me towards a closet I am proud of, a home that is organized and clean and a less cluttered life.
When I first started dating my now boyfriend, my ex contacted me. He said he had been thinking and dreaming of me. At that point I realized I had two choices, one was to continue to explore my new-to-be relationship and the other to go back to the guy who made me wonder where he was at night, what his feelings were, the exciting guy. To me the choice was simple and logical. I would explore the new guy I was dating because he was funny and cute and made my heart flutter with how much we had in common. I have come to realize that this is not as easy for everyone as it was for me.
In Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw was dating a great man who’s name was Aiden, who wanted to introduce her to his parents, who forgave her after she cheated, who helped her friends when she couldn’t, yet when the mysterious Big, calls her each time she runs back to him. Does this explain why there was an increase in divorce rights? Although among millennials the rate has decreased?
I’m glad I made the right choice for me. He is sensible, sometimes arrogant, pushes me out of my boundaries, silly, goofy, sweet, a much more complex person than Big was. This was also when I realized I was not Carrie, I am Miranda. Which ironically, when I kept getting that result in the which Sex and the City Character are you I kept denying but now I’m actually quite happy. Miranda is a dynamic character, who is logical and responsible and you know what? That suites me just fine.
The most liberating moment comes when you realize you don’t have to fit into some small boxes that society has created. Whether you create a new job profession, your identity, relationship, etc. It’s truly liberating to not have those expectations and I hope that everyone can have this moment of realization. If you wanna talk about your experiences let me know. I may not have gone through what you did but I do listen and sometimes give good advice or even you can rant to me and I’ll listen.
I’m the type of person that you won’t hear from for months, maybe even years. Then one day you crawl into my mind and I send a text or a picture or even just spend a while reminiscing and I wish I could turn back to those days. The days where everything was simpler when being busy meant being busy with everything I loved. Now the days are busy with ordinary, monotonous tasks. Frivolous spending to fill a void, to something distract myself from how ordinary my life has become. Every ttime I think of you old friend, I wish nothing but the best for you and that your life is filled with what you love everyday.
Some days you are on top of the world and other days you are at the very bottom. Maybe it is just my emotions that take a hold of me. Maybe I should try to be more stable, but the when you get when you are on top of the world? It is like an addiction.
I don’t know if men are better at hiding their insecurities than women or maybe it is just me, but I have a feeling that it has to do with how careful most women are with their wording and words as opposed to men. People who are not insecure do not realize that one simple comment made in passing could be replying in the person with insecurities mind on replay. Not letting them sleep. Not letting them work but just wondering on what they meant or if it was meant to be as hurtful as how they said it. Maybe I am paranoid. Maybe I am insecure and I most likely should stop comparing myself to other women but can you blame me? In a society where everything is a competition. Even in families there is competition. Instead of helping each other with our troubles we just pile them on. Thanking God we don’t have that issue. Until we do and then everything becomes more complicated and difficult.